sidisi:

nahiri:

big-bird-nerd:

nahiri:

big-bird-nerd:

maxeth:

steel-kun:

dream-cassette:

steel-kun:

Name a conspiracy theory superior in raw power to “there are no actual forests on Earth"

imma need some context on that cause WHAT?

“forests” = minuscule form of what trees on Earth can be, basically saplings
“mesas” = not landforms, but petrified ancient tree trunks
IIRC the theory goes that all forests on Earth were destroyed ages ago and it takes them ridiculous times to regrow, with those giant mammoth redwood trees just being the oldest ones that have grown the most

evidence 1:

Who/what cut down the trees to make them mesas, for what purpose, and with what tools?

I’ve actually looked a little deeper into this, and the short answer is that humans cut them down with future tech. This theory is a sub-theory of flat earth, as it makes use of a lot of the same basic assumptions about the world, most importantly that our entire worldview is a construct created by the elite that controls our world from the shadows. By keeping knowledge from us, they can treat us like sheep without expecting resistance. Part of this theory is that we had advanced machines and supercomputers way back, even in the ancient times, and that all history older than about 100 years is a lie crafted by this elite in the wake of a nuclear war in the 1800s.

What would we use all that wood for, and where did it go?

Rock is wood. Or rather, wood becomes rock as it grows and the trees reach massive heights. They essentially mined the trees for useful minerals and metals, and for the construction of whatever secret structres they use to control us.

Steal dnd settings from conspiracy theorists every day bc this shit is too good

whisqrs:

programming a self-driving car to play morrowind field music when everything is fine but when it detects a driving hazard like a jogging pedestrian or a busy roundabout it immediately interrupts the field music to play battle music until it detects that the hazard is gone and the battle music ends just as abruptly as it does when you finish a battle in morrowind

swarnpert:

birdfriender:

I love that one of the restrictions on name changes in the UK is that your name cannot “promote criminal activities” and fucking hell every name I can think of that violates that is just stellar honestly like fucking hello nice to meet you my name is Commit Arson, I’d like you to meet my daughter Dont Pay Taxes and my son Steal From Work

this is my son, rob