This is my new favourite old canon Star Wars picture. He’s a moff at a mofference.
I BID YOU DARK GREETINGS, TUMBLR!
AH GRAND MOFF HISSA, IT IS I, MOFF DUNHAUSEN
SHALL WE START THE MOFFERENCE?
MOFF DUNHAUSEN, DARK GREETINGS UPON YOU! YES I THINK FIRST THOUGH WE SHOULD CONSULT…
THE DARK BOOK OF IMPERIAL JUSTICE!
YES GOOD MOFF HISSA. GOOD. I BELIEVE, FIRST.
*Clears throat* WE MUST CONSULT THE BOOK, TO SEE IF THE EMPEROR’S SON, OUR NEW EMPEROR, TRIOCULUS,
CAN MARRY LEIA OF ALDERAAN. ROYALTY BOTH THROUGH ADOPTION, AND HER BLOOD RELATION TO OUR DARK LORD, VADER.
YESS, I CONCUR MOFF DUNHAUSSEN! IF HE DOES NOT MARRY LEIA HIS PLACE ON THE THRONE CAN SURELY BE CHALLENGED! Said Grand Moff Muzzer.
RIGHT! LET’S SEE HERE…. hmrmhmrmhmrmrm!
AHA! RIGHT HERE GENTLEMEN! Said Grand Moff Hissa, displaying the pages.
*In Huttese* MOFFS. I AM ZORBA, FATHER OF JABBA THE HUTT.
I RULE CLOUD CITY NOW. AND I AM ASKING FOR HELP IN STOPPING THE SCUM, HAN SOLO, HIS WOMAN, LEIA ORGANA, AND THEIR FRIEND. THE JEDI SCUM, SKYWALKER, WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATH OF MY DEAR SON!
WHY WOULD WE AID FILTH SUCH AS YOU? YOUR KIND PROVED TO BE WORTHLESS WHEN YOUR SON DIED. STORMTROOPERS, DISPOSE OF THIS HUTT!
HEAR HEAR!
YES SIR GRAND MOFF HISSA, SIR.
They come for Zorba, they COME.
OH NO! TROOPERS HAVE INVADED CLOUD CITY! I WILL NOT BE CAPTURED.
PLEASE, MOFFS. DO NOT THROW ME TO THE SARLACC OF TATOOINE! I BEG OF THEE
MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ANOTHER ENEMY OF THE EMPIRE SLAIN AT THE HANDS OF ITS FINEST. His eyes bulge out and his neck stretches upwards, his arm rockets to the sky in a salute and he screeches: HAAAILL TRIOCULUS!
HAIL TRIOCULUS! The rest of the Moffs followed suit, their faces turning red and their veins bulging almost of out their bodies as they saluted the man they loved most: Trioculus.
↳ “I would almost say that I feel concern for something other than myself, even maybe for a soft, squishy companion. But that would be silly, wouldn’t it?”
Krahka's OC and Meta Garbage-Palooza 